From now on all cash prizes will be handed out in the form of puppy dollars. “But what are puppy dollars” you ask? Well dumbass, puppy dollars are almost exactly the same as regular U.S currency. The difference is that they pay homage to the real historical heroes of our time: puppies. Each puppy dollar bill is made from only the highest quality finely sewn puppy hairs. But don’t worry, no puppies were harmed in the bill-making process. And you can take THAT to the bank.
P.S Don’t be fooled by counterfeits. You’ll know an authentic puppy bill when you see it.