Knicks Consult Veteran Dog on How to Draft Potential Big Men

Jordan Hill, Renaldo Balkman, Mardy Collins, Frederic Weis…the list goes on. The Knicks have had trouble drafting in recent years and could really use a budding big man.  Yeah, we can blame Isiah Thomas, and we have a right to. Heck, I blame him for just about everything that happened in my life over the last five years. But that only goes so far, and I still find myself crying at night.  Anyway, this is our season, and the next five years will become our dynasty. But for this to truly happen, we need to make changes, and we need them now.

Well, according to our sources at What The Pup Is Up, the Knicks are closing in on a deal with Charlie, the brown, Zen Master dog in the middle:

Now, you probably are muttering to yourself, “What the pup is up!? A puppy can’t help the Knicks, can it?” Hold your horses, mister. Drafting is a skill. A skill that the Knicks clearly lack, and Charlie clearly has.

You see, about three years ago, Charlie was roughed up by some stray dogs in a dark alley. Just your typical News Channel 5 sad story of a pup in the wrong place at the wrong time. Scared for his life, Charlie realized he needed a team — some say, a gang — in case he were ever in this situation again.  Needless to say, he drafted those two puppies into his gang — err, team.

Within six months, his draft choices looked promising, but they were still getting bullied in dark alleys and out-fetched in puppy sports:

Within a year, his draft choices were gaining confidence:

Now, look at them and try not to be scared:

Holy Moly Mother of Pup. You see what I see? These pups were munchkins when Charlie first drafted them, and now they are like the Twin Towers of fur. The three just can’t be beat. Wanna play catch? Game over. Wanna get the newspaper for me? Already got it…and your neighbor’s too. Seriously, Charlie is a gem when it comes to drafting, and let’s pray that our sources are right, and the Knicks are making moves to ink this guy to a contract.


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